I've gone through the same. In this world, they label it as sickness, problem but it's a part of life. We are not against flesh and blood. Use this time to be closer to God, ask God what is He teaching you. Pour your heart to God, cry it out to Him. Don't hide or pretend to Jesus. Come as you are, as broken, as sinful as you are, desperately. Accept in yourself that you are tired of carrying your burdens, doing everything by yourself and you don't want this anymore that you submit and surrender. Beg the Lord for rest and Cast everything unto Him. Just accept Him. And when you accept Him, He will work in you and through. You only need to be still and know He is God. Over and over, again and again. Be patient. It will take time, years. Change, healing, transition, it's all never easy. A continuous work. Always talk to God like a BFF about anything, everything, anywhere, everywhere. Clean your mind, heart, body, life, house from all dirt, evil and unbearing good or useless stuff. Watch, read, hear sermons/teachings to keep you busy and occupied. Daniel fast and exercise. Write a daily journal of How God speaks/shows, What God is teaching you. Yield and depend on Him. Congratulations, you are going deeper.Just Hold on, He will turn it all for good. That ache, thirst, hunger, fill it with Jesus and you will see, that very pain is a blessing being used for your salvation. He is always with you and all the heavenlies. In little things and ways, Always be grateful no matter what and try to help others even if you are struggling. You are a miracle in progress. Godbless you more.