My husband of 24 years died 18 months ago. I am asking God to bring me to him soon. I'm doing much better but there are days that the pain is so unbearable. I need him. I screwed up. Is this my penance God. Every day is an effort. When Bill died so did I. He wasn't supposed to leave me so soon and so suddenly, I know it's not possible but I'm still begging God to bring him back. I'm begging Bill to come back. Please help me see that this pain and tears will end some time. Please help me find some pleasure in life again. It's such a lonely life without my soul mate.