My name is Sarah. And I am asking for your prayers becasue I am having troube finding the willingness to stay in Recovery. I have been sober for 14 years as of May 1st and for the past couple of years I am doing only the bare minimum to stay sober. Which means I am resting on my laurels. And I am getting closer and closer to a drink. I have been having to use pain pills because of pain I am experiencing in my neck, hand and arm and I think they are getting the best of me ;-( My finances are in the toilet, I feel numb on the inside, I have had health issues over the past year which has included ovarian cance, which did not require chemo or radiation, which is a miracle, blood clots in my leg, which were superficial, again a miracle and a herniated disk in my neck, it has left me drained financially, emotionally and spiritually. I have been told I am one of the most loved persons, and I can attest to that. I have a wonderful group of friends who held me up during this difficult time, they even had a fundraiser for me. You would think I would be giving back. But I am not. All I want to do is eat, spend money of food and useless things, and sit in my chair at home and do nothing. I just feel empty, I feel nothing. And I believe that is not living. But I don't care (most of the time.) My family is completely falling apart. My Dad died almost two years ago and he was the glue that held this family together. Everybody hates everybody and I just wish we could keeep it together until my Mom passes. lmoved in with my Mom right before my Dad died hoping to help her financially and I think I have been more of a hindrance than help. So I ask that you send your love and pryaers for a turn of heart. I don't even talk to God hardly ever. Thank you and God Bless you all!