Heartbroken. I’m struggling with forgiving myself for failing so miserably as a wife that my marriage ended after 17 years. It’s been 10 years since the divorce and I was able to bury my pain and emotions until now. But now, all of it is surfacing and I’m being forced to deal with the pain and rejection. I still don’t understand why God did not answer my prayers to save my marriage. I sought Biblical counseling, prayed, begged, sought Godly advice and did everything that was recommended. My husband had so much anger directed at me. When I asked why he was so angry with me he said, “You repulse me.” I still have not recovered from that. I loved him with my whole heart and wanted so desperately for my love to be reciprocated. I sought God in my marriage. I prayed, studied the Bible, went to church and small group meetings and sought to be a woman of noble character. The end result? I make my husband gag because he is so disgusted with me. I still struggle to find myself worthy of God's love and forgiveness. I don’t feel I’m worthy of anyone’s love. I feel like a failure as a Christian, a wife, and a woman. I’m angry at God, angry at my ex, and angry with myself. I don’t know how to keep living. I don’t know how to find value and worth in myself. I am so heartbroken and my spirit is crushed. Please pray for me however God directs you.