This whole year has slipped between my fingertips after losing my brother last October.. Each day I feel the loss of him not here just a little more greater. God has took me on a journey this year from not spending holidays with him; to not celebrating our birthday together since he was born on my birthday; to me feeling older than I am because his youth is what made me feel young. My heart hurts everyday and losing him as well as losing his dad in 1999 has brought that loss back all over again in my mind. I really wish that I could over come this pain and this grief. I know nothing will bring him back. It took me 10 years to accept his dads death. I don't want it to be another 10 or 20 years to get over and accept my bubs not here and not coming back. I really wish that his time was not so soon. I really wish my niece didn't have to experience it either. How can the sorrow remain stronger than ever. If all the Christians in this world could whisper a prayer for me. I know there is so much in this world we do not understand. An one day Ill be holding my bubs hand again and embracing him in a hug and hearing his I love you again. Its just so hard. My brothers smile will live on and he will be my Legacy of Laughter until we meet again.