I am failing my children and at life. I am broken. My heart hurts so bad and I constantly wish for God to just bring me home and take me away from all this pain. I know I should be grateful. I believe, hell, I know their is a God. It's not that I dont have faith. I dont understand how can I hurt so much knowing if I let God work in my life and trust in him, I will be better off. I know I do forget to pray and often fail to see the blessings. I need help out of this hole. I need guidance and strength. I need a desire for life over death. I need to find my gratitude. I need prayers to save my soul as I fear if I cant find how to move past the pain I've been three and to forgive I wont be forgiven for the wrongs I've done. I know God is there. I need to know what I am doing wrong.