We're in the same boat but with fervent prayers, God healed me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Until now, I'm still waiting for God's time to let my partner, Juan to come back into my life. Please pray unceasingly. God will heal you. Surrender it to Him. I'll share with you on what I heard within my inner during my meditation saying,"LET GOD BE GOD!DO NOT TRY TO FIX IT BY YOURSELF ". My understanding was, God wants me to surrender it all to HIM. SO, when I did it. I feel calmness in my Spirit. Please pray Chaplet of Divine Mercy and the Holy Rosary. Ask Mama Mary, she is our mother too. She is our Mother of Perpetual Help, our intercession. God bless you more.

Praying for you. I don't pretend to have all of the answers, so I can only share what I learned going through a similar experience. The actions of others is a reflection of them, NOT YOU. You did nothing to cause his actions; we each make our own choices. Losing someone who is still alive seems harder to me than losing someone to death; the choice to leave us feels like rejection. You have not been rejected, nor are you somehow worth less now that you find yourself without your partner. You are still God's child, and His plans for you will one day be made clear. He also did not choose this for you, but because He created us with freedom of choice, others can hurt us with the choices they make. Hold on to God's hand, and value yourself.