I failed multiple times tonight. God still got me through it. I dont fully understand the why of it and what God is doing. I dont get what I want fast enough. I don't have concrete proof that I will. Life feels like all work and no play with no end to the suffering. But I do know God is doing something in me and I'm in for the ride. God is good and just because I can't feel it or see it now i belive that it will happen. Whatever it is. The desires of my heart.