I want to feel grateful. I want to feel uplifted and happy. Right now I feel so depressed. My youngest child is SO difficult and demanding and he has special needs and he is disrupting every aspect of our lives and I’m not getting enough physical, trained support here in my home to be able to care for myself and all of my kids and work. I called the county looking for resources. I have trusted for SO long that my help comes from the Lord and I still believe. I’m all alone with nobody physically here to love me through this and I want to die and go home to God. Let the earthly fathers of my children figure this out. The youngest hates me anyways as soon as he doesn’t get his own way. I’m tired of getting beaten up by my son. God, I have asked You to heal him completely. I have asked You to guide me and fill me with hope. God, today the “message from God” app says that I am to be grateful and right now I am feeling like I would feel grateful to go home to Heaven, that Heaven must be the miracle that I am waiting for because I have struggled for so long here on earth and I’m not alone, there are a lot of people waiting for miracles God and we can’t make them happen ourselves. I have listened to sermons that say I need to surrender it to You and that we are not supposed to be completely dependent on ourselves, what is not possible with man is possible with God. Well, here I am Father. I’ve surrendered it to You. I’ve done my best to be obedient and to repent for any sins. I’ve prayed for my son to be healed completely. And yet I sit here with no friends, no family, no job because I don’t have the specially trained people to care for my son, I’ve asked to win the lottery so that I can be a blessing in so many ways and it hasn’t happened yet. God Almighty, I still believe in You and I still love You and I still trust that You are good. I don’t like being like Job. And I am asking for You to end this spiritual attack upon me now, please rebuke the enemy and his allies from me and my family now and forever more and let me and my kids live the rest of our lives on earth with peace and prosperity and love and joy and all the fruits of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus’s name I pray, amen 🙏