Ha Roger. I am guessing that no one has taught You that those thoughts that are driving You over the edge are very real. Whispers from the dark side causing You to maybe think You are talking to Yourself. Well You are not the one speaking. Open up Your mouth and ask Jesus to send the Spirits of GOD to shut them up. In Jesus Name AMEN and AMEN.

Roger stay strong. It's normal to have those thoughts, we are human. We have daily struggles and sometimes feel like we can't handle it all. But we can, because will never give us anything we can't handle without him. He also give the worst battles to the strongest warriors. You're one of them. So don't turn your back on him and listen to who whispering behind you. Always look forward and pray to God to take your wheel and lead you down the path he wants you to be on. Have faith and please don't give up. You'll just cause pain to others. You're in my prayers. 🙏