I am putting out focused energy into the universe and my prayers that your soul will heal and that strength and clarity will cleanse your mind and heart. Suffering like you describe is truly heartbreaking BUT, it COULD change. Read the poem "Hope is a thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson. Sweetest poem and so powerful. Memorize it and say it to yourself with a smile if you can in your heart and breathe.

you will get through it....I never ever ever thought I would....but I did. Stay as calm as you possibly can, find your best courage and tune into nature. I know that sounds corny but watch the trees, the birds, the animals...the wind, the sun....we are part of all of that....remove yourself from the toxic parts...you have everything you need. You do.