I think you should love yourself more and allow yourself to be free from someone who does not show you the respect. If you feel that he stirs up negative feelings like regretting it and wanting him to....that is a burden that you should be free of, walk away from. Be brave and there IS a light out there. Trust me. You don't think there is, but there is.....don't allow yourself to live a life with that....YOU are worth it. Know your worth and your entire life experience will change for the most good and beautiful way. You are loved.

You allowed that beautiful baby to die feeling safe and loved. That is a beautiful gift. Keep your kindness close and know it means something very profound. <3