Gracious and Wonderful Lord; my Father, my Saviour, my Shepard, I pray in thanks for all the blessings You have given me in my life; Salvation, Your constant, unconditional love and forgiveness, shelter, sustenance, a family I love passionately. Yet, I feel further from You than I wish, and disheartened at all my failed hopes and dreams. I know there is a reason for these things and shall not foolishly ask to understand Your mysterious ways, again; for You spoke and I shall love You and trust You until the end of time; which does not exist. I pray by Your Grace for my heart and life to be filled with love and dreams actualized, as it fits into Your plans for me. I ask in Your name to be closer to You than I have been feeling. I ask in Your name to die unto the parts of myself that stills exist, so that I may be more born in You, be the person You created me to be, and thus live and breathe You internally and externally completely; for my inner fire of who You created me to be to not burn out with wear and tear, but rather, may it be reignited in Your grace and providence, and love.
Forever and totally Yours - may I bow to no one else. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Please God, if my family cannot find a way to treat me with the love and respect I deserve, which, I have finally come to the conclusion, they never will, please give me the strength to endure this, to rise above it - to stop allowing myself to ruin my life and hinder my relationship with You by allowing them to do it - for people only have the control we give them. Nothing is worth the cost of my relationship with You, loving and honoring and serving You, and, as You have taught me to love myself, it is not worth the cost of that either. Please give me the strength to mount this mountain, hold my hand, be with me, until I find a way to break free, and into You, completely. I pray with all my love unto You, my Lord, my Father, my Shepard, forever. Amen.

I've ruined the best thing that has happened to me in a long time...God blessed my life with the most wonderful guy and a beautiful relationship, and I've destroyed it. A miracle is what it is going to take to fix what God gave me that I broke, and to fix my heart....please pray for that, for me. Amen.