I seem to have developed a sense of fear and paranoia in the past few years of my life to the point where I think people are out to get me or are mad at me when they're not, and they do everything to tell me everything's allright, but for some reason, my heart doesn't feel that way and it's starting to interfere with my work life and relationships with people, even to the point I'm afraid to stand up for myself and try new challenges. I don't know if it's because of scars from my past or a mental problem, or something that makes me feel like a lesser human being than others, but God knows exactly what it is, and He does not give His Children a spirit of fear or anxiety. I pray for God's healing of my mind and spirit, help me let go of the past, maybe fill that gap I have that will allow me to believe I'm no lesser than anyone else, that I can do things, and give me a spirit of courage to face whatever comes my way with the confidence that I can get through whatever comes, that I am His, and that should be all the faith in myself that I need.
By the grace of God, and His will, There have been a lot of parts of my life have changed for the better. However there are those who are persecuting me and bullying me over one particular change....a promotion. These people don't seem to understand that with this particular change, I don't know if it's because these people didn't want this to happen to me , or are angry because it happened to me and not other people.(It happened because another good person made it so) I have to change the way I act and behave at my job, It's God's will after all, and I'd be a fool not to follow it, or it wouldn't have happened. I can't be the same "worker" they want me to be anymore, becuase I'm not in the same position anymore. I'm in a leadership role where I have to take authority, and teach and guide anyone under me to do thier own jobs. I need God's peace and love over me and His assurance that it's His will, He won't let any human take it away or keep me from doing what He has asked of me. It is better to obey God rather than men, And also pray for those who are truly targeting me with this undue harassment because I earned an advancement, God knows each one of them by name, but also Him to give me the temperment and the coping skills to deal with thier slight, to tune it out, to ignore thier brow beating, so I can get used to my new role at my job, to master it, so I can please my Father.
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