Praying for you and sending love. I lost my boyfriend of 12 years on October 4th and I am in pain every moment of every day. I have to force myself to do the simplest things but I know not doing them makes everything worse. I try to hope that one day the pain will be more manageable but I honestly do not see how that can happen. I know that the only answer is trusting in God and His plan. it is not at all an easy thing for me to do anymore but I know that God understands and I know He is not going anywhere. He loves us with a great love and He will walk with us through our pain. I know we have to hold on to that.