My husband passed away this year from Pancreatic Cancer. He fought hard to be here for the kids and me. However, God has a greater purpose through the pain. Also, I cry whenever I feel like it. This is the first Christmas without him. Furthermore, I have a loving church family, and I joined widows and widowers grief support group, as well as grief support group for children who have lost a loved one. All the support has been helpful in coping with the grief. I hope you get as much support as you can. Remember, healing will come, but it takes time. I prayed for you. God bless and keep you.