Im trying to find my own place and where to reset my life where ill thrive and heal and find joy hobbies, learn to accept who i am, quit apologizing for existing, stop allowing people to walk on me, stop placing my fesr kf other peoples thoughts above god, stop seeking gratification before God, a place i can learn to connect with the great I am in a more conscious sensory based wsy other than the passive outside the box messages he se would communicate, but if i cant attain the conscious perception i desire id be more than satisfied with the old connection we had to be restored, before i went my own way for years begging not to be swallowed by s whale or thrown from s ship at ses to appease a storm of divine origin. However god all i ask for a littke bjt of privacy allow me to rid myself if these reservations, or fulfill them and build the strength to begin
Symbolic death of self, or embrace the potters oven, embrace dunamis no matter the cost suffering or pain,