I need prayer again. Feeling overwhelmed, stuck afraid, anxious, of what I can't see, my limited faith and my shame of my shortcomings and resistance to what God is calling me into. It looks hopeless for me with my sight. Because I don't know when I'll take that step of faith. Because of the anger of disappointment. So many barriers. I feel like I'm gonna be walking through this wilderness until I break and I don't know if I will, in all honesty. I'm considering up and moving away a lot lately. Starting fresh and feigning ignorance. I'm torn. It's hard. Idk what to do. I am losing touch with what is real and what was just what I wanted to see. Without certainty I could be doing all this waiting for nothing. Idk how much longer I can hold on. How much time am I wasting, and wasting by what standard. I'm at a place where I think God is waiting on me to do what He wants and I am waiting on God to do what I want and we have poor communication so nothing is certain and everything is supposed to be faith and I ovwrthink everything and man doesn't have any of the answers and either God isn't speaking or I don't know how to listen and it's overwhelming and I want out.