Prayer Request
pray that everything that bothers me can be resolved. I have trouble at work. Troubles at home. My performance as a mother is poor and it stems from my job. It stems from my lack of companionship. My energy is so low and my home is at a disarray. My kids are making poor decisions and I dont have control over them. Therapy isn't working for me yet. I pray out loud and that doesn't seem to help. Sometimes I feel like God can't hear me. I feel chaotic. Depression is terrible. Sometimes I question why am I even here. I reflect on the things I know I cant change. Sometimes stuff that goes all the way back to when I was as young as 14. I reflect on the times I've been irate. I know i cant change nothing because it's already been done. I live in regret of moving to this new city. I feel like I've been working harder and crying more. My job is tedious. My manager is toxic. He lacks empathy. I've made mistakes and have a long rap sheet at work.
I'm so tired of it all.
I wish it would end I wish I can get a better job with a better environment. I have never worked anywhere that was good. It's always turmoil and toxicity.
I always wonder if a work place exist that is happy, helpful, and fulfilling.
I am so sad. I'm so lonely. I keep meeting men who are awful, selfish, rude, who don't want me anyways. I get rejected. I have 3 kids. Logically I know it's no man out there. Why would a decent man want to sign up for all this bs I have going on. Then my emotions, self esteem, and self worth are all crappy too. I need God so bad right now. Sometimes I wish he would just come and speak directly to me and just save me from myself and save me from all this stuff.
1 Comment
Firstly, don't try to meet anyone before you take control of your OWN life. Once you do that, everything else will follow. I promise you. You will feel stronger, happier and that attracts happiness everywhere. First thing, can you do any training in an area where you can get a job you enjoy, sticking it out where you are, but training for something that gives you a sense of hope? Like even online programs, they ALWAYS have funding if you can't afford it. Don't give up. TRY something new. Online schools where you can get a certificate in something Google ideas...find YOURSELF. You won't be lonely once you find something inside yourself that makes you thrive....an inner strength because what YOU ARE DOING for yourself and your family will change it all. Baby steps. Get on the computer (if you don't have one try your local lilbrary, they have computers and internet you can use). That is step one. Each step will bring you closer to empowering yourself.