Yesterday I decided to go to Dan's house to leave him a note just to say hello. I was shocked to see his SUV there,along with the van. I immediately thought of an email I got that said he was gonna have to find another job and that he had been sick. I thought that perhaps he had been sick but the more I thought of it, the more I thought that something had happened to his boss' dad and was told not to come in. After asking the Lord to give me strength and to soften his heart, I went to the door. Despite knocking (and hearing him move inside) he would not answer the door. Finally I started talking to him. I did not say anything about his job, but I wanted him to know that I was there when he was sick before and I would be there for him now.

I finally left, but I am still hoping for the best and that the Lord WILL soften Dan's heart and allow me back into his life. I told Dan we were not perfect and if we were, we wouldn't need God or anything else. I also told him that I still cared for him and loved him and that we are perfect for each other.

Please keep Dan and I in your prayers. I do not want to see him alone or lonely, and I don't want to be that way either. With God, I KNOW that anything is possible and the Lord will get us thru this!

In about an hour Dan will come home and he will find the card that I left for him. It was simple blank card, no mention of Sweetest Day. Just said I was thinking of him, would like to get together for coffee soon and that I missed his smile.

I ask that the Lord Jesus Christ will soften his heart when he reads this card and finally give us a chance. I know neither of us is perfect - if we were, we wouldn't need HIM, but we do! I do not want Dan or I to grow old along, but together.

Please continue to pray for us and that we will find our way to each other ASAP. I know that we are meant for each other and I refuse to let Satan come between us!

Tonight is my 35th reunion - actually two mini reunions. Please pray that I have a good time and share good times with this group. I think it would have been more successful if the planing had started in January 2013 than June 2014.

Also, please pray for Dan and I. I don't know if he know's about either reunion (I am going to both) but I will be wearing the same dress that I wore for our engagement pictures. I pray that the Lord will allow Dan to forgive me and for us to get back together very soon. I know we were both wrong in this misunderstand and lack of communication. Neither of us is perfect - if we were we wouldn't need God. Lord, we need you now more than ever! I know Dan is lost in more ways than salvation, and I need him as much as he needs me. I pray that the Lord will allow me back into Dan's life and once I gain his trust I can start leading him back to Jesus Christ. When he first started dating me, he offered to take me to church and he was there almost every week. My mom even gave him a KJV Bible.so that he could learn and read about God and His Plan. I want this for Dan, but I need an opening. I am afraid of him rejecting me like two people have done to their sister and friend over something very stupid.

Thank you Lord for everything You have given me. Lord hear my prayer and please answer it positively for all parties involved.

Things did not work out as I had hoped, so I ask for your prayers again for Dan and I. I went over to his house after the meeting, but the van (not the SUV) was gone. I was thinking either he got a notice for a recall or he went in for an oil change. I was there for about an hour and then the urge to go to the bathroom hit me. It wasn't like I could go behind the house, and I had no way to go into the house. I had to leave and I knew in my heart that if I didn't see him in personally, knocking on the door would be useless when I came back. I am trying to pray every night for things to be the way they were before all of this mess happened. I want to be back in Dan's life in a positive way - his friend, lover, soul mate, significant other but most of all his last wife and no divorce. I know that we need counseling in many areas, but I know that once we are back together, I need to lead him to Jesus Christ. Honestly, Dan will not find the perfect lady, but I know in my heart that he is perfect for me and I for him. We are being tested and I feel I've passed every one. I do not want to be alone or die alone, and I don't want that for Dan. That is why I want us to be together. I pray that the Lord will hear my prayer request and allow us to be together for the rest of our lives. I know there will be ups and downs in our relationship, but I know with Jesus in our lives we can overcome anything! Lord, please bless each and every person who reads this,and Lord, please bless Dan and I!

Please remember Dan and I today. I am going to attempt to talk to him today about getting back together. It has been nine weeks since he broke up with me and I think that enough time has passed that we can get over this and go on together as a couple. I realize that we can't pick up where we were before the break up, but certainly not back to square one. We need God in our lives first and foremost, then work on our communications. I cannot see Dan or myself being alone when we die - we need each other as our families are getting smaller. We have been alone for much too long. We need our families but we need each other, but God first!

Once again I ask Jesus to allow Dan and I to come back together again soon. It's been five weeks since we broke up and it hurts just as much as it did on June 23rd. I finally got the courage today to call him, but all I got was his voice mail, so I just said I'd like us to get together for coffee this week. I pray Lord and those that pray for me, You will allow us to become a couple again. Lord, we have communication problems that need to be resolved, but Lord, Dan also needs to be back in church as much as I do. Everything was good the first year we were dating and all of a sudden he stopped going and I believe that is when our problems began. I am no angel Lord, never have been perfect, never will be but it was thru Your grace and mercy that You saved a sinner like me.

One of the things between Dan and I were the back we were "buggies" and Dan has given me a few things that were ladybug related. I found out yesterday that ladybugs symbolized trust - and I want Dan to be able to trust me. I do not want him to give up on Dan and I don't want him to give up on me. Dan is not perfect but he is perfect enough for me!

Please continue to pray that Dan and I will reconcile. We first and foremost need to be back into church and put God first in our lives. I have been going to a new church for two weeks now. Last week when I requested pray for us, I broke down when I said "ex-fiance". I am hurting so bad over this and depression that when I don't work all I want to sleep. I know that we also need to be in counseling - not just for communication/miscommunication problems but things that are going on in our lives. I love Dan with all my heart and I believe that the Good Lord put me into his life for a reason and I don't want something stupid that I said be the reason why we broke up (FYI - all I said was to please don't ever treat me like a doormat). I have put my heart on my sleeve five times before only to have it ripped out, thrown on the floor, stomped on then thrown back in my face. I cannot go thru this again. Thank you Lord for giving me the gift of salvation 42 years ago and saving a sinner like me. I pray Lord that You will save Dan, as well as our relationship!

Dan says it's over and I am. hurting. He is either proud or stubborn. He will not listen and does not want to work it out - says "it ain't gonna happen."

I feel I have wasted the last 3 1/2 years of my life. I just cannot continue to put my heart on my sleeve. It's not worth it. But at the same time I wonder if this is just another test.

Just keep praying for me, for Dan.

Please pray that Dan and I can get thru our problems, reunite and go forward as a couple together. I know that part of the problem is due to communication and/or miscommunication. I have been having issues (mental/emotional/health) and I said something that Dan took wrong. He has cancelled our trip and has clammed up and refused to talk to me. He has even changed the deadbolt on the door.

I have begged him to let me in, that couples have broken up for a lot worse. I even mentioned about us going to counseling. He may need anger management, not because of physical, mental or emotional abuse, but how he handles situations (especially one between us).

Many people think I should just give up on Dan - that he isn't worth it. To me, he is. I gave him a chance - because I know what it's like not to be given one (or any). I cannot give up!

My aunt was married FIVE times before she found the right one - and I believe that Dan is the right one for me. I am not in love with him for his job or money - I LOVE DAN!

Dan also needs to know the Lord like I know the Lord. When we first started dating, he offered to take me to church, and for a year things were fine. I think that he did not like the fact that he would have to be re-baptized; he was sprinkled as an infant. It could also be a fear that the pastor at that time was small framed and Dan is a pretty big guy, and perhaps he would drop him in the water.

We need each other - our families are getting smaller and we are not getting any younger. Please pray for us!

Please keep praying for Dan & I. We are going thru either a test or roadblock and I feel we can get past this and be together like we were meant to be. I know that Dan still cares - he has not asked for my ring back or come get my things. Today I drove by Dan's house and the ladybug spinners he got me for Easter were still there. I know I am not perfect and I have asked for his forgiveness - it may take some time. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe He has. I just want to spend the rest of my life with Dan.